Friday, June 22, 2001

For most part, I believe that a relationship can make or break a person. In the book of Warren Bennis Leadership he mentioned about the importance of ones relationship to ones success. He even showed statistics on how most of the leading CEOs in America have a steady relationship, meaning they are married and have been married just once. No divorce to talk about.

But how do we make a relationship work?

Ah, it's complicated. Talk about love, sex, fate, and chemistry. But let's limit our focus on what we have. That a woman has pivotal role in making her relationship work. It takes two to tango. However, no one is more relationship savvy than a woman. It makes sense because it is a woman's nature to be relationship hog.

Women are also ones with lots of requirements. Lots and lots a. Whereas men are just happy as they are, women have a long list that can read: Undivided attention, walks in the park, roses, all the time in the world...

Likewise, women have high expectations. In our female psyche it's always "men shoud know". However, a womanís mantra should be: Be vocal and straightforward. That is, tell the man exactly what you feel and your expectations. e.g. you feel neglected because the poor dude forgot to give you the roses in the exact color of your choice. Say so. Donít worry. Men are easy to talk to and surprisingly accepting at that. Even if it borders reason.

Yes, women make things complicated. Obvious ba? Since the time of Eve? As a healthy man will take a woman and endure all the trouble, I think it is but fair for a woman to be as mindful of her relationship. Let's help the man make it work:

(1) By virtue of uncomplicating things.
(2) By understanding that a man is not a woman.
(3) By realizing that there is clout and indomitable power in being a woman. Sssh... use it.

In final note, think about it. That the most content of man is one with a happy woman beside him.

Tuesday, June 19, 2001

Jhune, you're right in questioning. As it is,
we often understand through questioning. If you lean towards dharmic, this might make sense: ;)

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.

Do not believe in traditions simply because they have been handed down for many generations.

Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.

Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.

Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.

But when, after observation and analysis, you find anything that agrees with reason,and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. -- The Buddha's Kalama Sutra

Wednesday, June 13, 2001

Given the same parameters, can I save more in the U.S.?

A friend once asked me this question. Can she save more in the U.S.? That was her question to me, as she reviews her opportunity to move from Manila abroad. HmmÖ I never got back to her on this one.

For people who dreams of the greener pasture, and for many others who have the opportunity to fulfill this dream, all I can say is go for it.

Sure Filipino I.T. talents can play spin the wheel using the globe and take to their fancy whichever country their finger point to, then go there. The point of the matter is the world has a glut for information technologists so any competitive practitioners can partake. Itís an open field. It just depends on how far one is willing to go. Literally. What about Timbuktu?

As per the United States, many I.T. people shy away from the thought of going here because of some horror stories they hear. Some bad experiences of a colleague perhaps. Even some hearsay whatever that may be. I have found that most of my colleaguesí fear root from the huge federal, and state taxes thatís a given once working here. Talk about 25% to 30% income tax. Add to that the sales tax, and city tax (depending where you live) in each purchase. Wham!

I for one never singled out the U.S. Thereís always Canada, Australia, and New Zealand (I want to be amongst the sheep - haha) to consider. And of course Manila. Donít get mad at me, I thought about staying in Manila too.

That time when I make the decision with my husband, my family is in Singapore. It occurs to me that if I go, I might as well go big. Choose the best place there is for me. The seat of advancement, where the openness of mind is unparalleled, where resources after resources abound, where the books I read are printed, where the ideologies I study are formed, where the movies I watched are made, and where the companies Iím so in awe of are headquartered. United States then.

When I made the decision, saving money is back there in my mind. Somewhere in the corner, and the word is not to save but to invest, oh to get rich. Mwahaha - ha ha ! What I have in mind moving in the United States is to live. Live life to the fullest, and make the most.

But to save? Saving is a function of discipline and attitude rather than of location and capacity.

Dear friend, how can I say it... but it really seems to me you're asking the wrong question here. So let me go back to my earlier point:

For people who dreams of the greener pasture, and for many others who have the opportunity to fulfill this dream, all I can say is go for it.

Just do it.